Um..Hey there?:)

Rather than being angry i am/was really disappointed. Maybe its the A's that are nearing or something but i am extra prickly and sensitive these days (even more than usual ) Somehow my whole brain is in a whirlwind and i cant seem to stop myself from showing how i truly feel. i hate how i am so vulnerable to people that i care for because i dont want to do anything to upset them. i guess it is to the extent that i start bottling up myself. inside i am screaming in anger but somehow i am just controlling myself not get angry. Because i obviously know the consequences . Obviously it scares me because if it doesn't turn out like i want to, i will be even sadder. I tend to overthink so much that when i was in class, i had the sudden urge to cry Truth is, nobody knows the real me / how i truly feel. i have too much emotions for anybody to handle. adding on to my moodswings, even i cant handle myself. i am so sick and tired of everyone and everything. One day i want t...

It's funny how I can change my attitude/ perspective of somebody so quickly . Maybe just 2 days ago I am still super affected by the actions by someone  . I was still wondering how someone can have such a large impact on me . For the first time I felt like I am putting in so much effort for a friendship . I am doing so much and err maybe sacrificing other things . Ok maybe I am just over exaggerating .  Idk I am just very surprise at how the way I feel can change so much in such a short span of time . Or maybe the perfect friend just doesn't exist. Nobody is perfect so what was I even expecting ? 🙅🏻  I actually feel bad . Am I not treating other people sincerely enough ? But this is really getting too tiring . It is like people are taking me for granted .  At some point of time I was the friend that prioritise some people over others  Screw late night thoughts . Ps I am always extra sensitive and prickly and angsty at night .