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What do I do when I have given my best but my best is not enough

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What to expect in life ??

i feel even more lost in life than ever. The world doesn't revolve around me. Yet I can't seem to accept other people for the differences in mindsets. There are things people do that I feel ,, have crossed certain boundary . Friends used to be my top priority. But I don't think so anymore .
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Whenever I am sad , I feel sick to my core and In my tummy . I guess that’s why I can’t wait to graduate , to be away from everybody . To disappear from world . Some days I just hate everyone . Some days I just hate my life . But I know I can live through this . Life is too short to be sad right ...?
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If i met me, i would hate me too. Scary how once feelings can totally change one's expression and the way they act. No longer troubled by any friendships thingy. Now i think about it, it is major bullshit for me to spend so much time brooding over it. Realised that everything is my own problem. I overthink about EVERY SINGLE THING. I get pissed off easily , and i have a bad attitude. I cant control my anger and act rashly every single time. But the even weirder/ scarier thing is that, when i cool down / wake up, it feels like i wasnt being myself, and somebody so foreign to me too. according to wiki : Bipolar disorder , formerly  manic depression , is a  mental disorder  with periods of  depression  and periods of elevated mood .  The elevated mood is significant and is known as  mania  or  hypomania , depending on its severity, or whether symptoms of  psychosis  are present. During mania an individual  behaves ...
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